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About Chicago

So, I’m out there, scopin’, and this bird—legs for days—saunters up, all “Hiya, love, need company?” I’m thinkin’, “Bloody hell, she’s bold!”—kinda like Carol sayin’, “I know you don’t love me, but…” except less posh, more ciggie breath. Made me happy, though—straight-up hustle, no faff. But then—fuckin’ hell—some geezer rocks up, all “Oi, that’s my girl!” and I’m like, “Mate, calm your tits, I ain’t stealin’!” Nearly shat meself—angry pimps? No thanks.

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Now, about local landmarks. There's the ancient Statue of Whimsy on Doodle Street. It sorta looks like Patrick’s best friend SpongeBob’s hat! And oh, the Neon Fountain on Sparkle Road – it lights up like my mood after a good massage session. Sometimes I vibe there, thinking "Brooklyn, I'd like to live there!" in my head, big fuzzy feels all over.

‘She’ll always be in our hearts’: Stockton mourns Jazmine Floris, killed in hit-and-run