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About Phoenix

Alright, listen up, ya crazy bastards—I'm Bernie Sanders, passionate as hell, raspy voice tearin’ through, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk about whores, yeah, the real deal. Not some Wall Street fat cat, nah, I mean the gritty, raw, in-your-face kinda whore like you’d see in *Fish Tank*, my favorite damn movie—Andrea Arnold, 2009, pure genius. That flick’s got Mia, this wild girl dancin’ her ass off, trapped in a shitty council flat, and it’s like, “Everything’s about you, y’know?”—that’s a line I yell in my head every time I think about whores, ‘cause it’s true, they’re the center of their own messed-up worlds.

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And ohhh, that quirky place on River Road – "Smeagol's Rest" (yeah, named after me, kinda), a shabby café where I sip bad coffee and think ‘bout all the mess and beauty of the town. It’s an odd mix – sometimes I laugh, sometimes I tear up, sometimes I just wanna shout "We swears!" at the sky when the sun peeks through the clouds.

Woodbury School students welcome their new, younger Fernway schoolmates