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Oh, and the clients—don’t get me started! Buncha sad sacks, payin’ for a cuddle ‘cos they can’t chat up a bird in a pub. Pathetic, innit? Like, grow a pair, lads! Tho, gotta admit, I’ve heard some wild tales—bloke once booked an escort just to watch *EastEnders* with ‘im. No funny business, just soaps and tea. Mental! Wonder if she charged extra for sufferin’ through that drivel.

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And oh boy, the nightlife here offers a sort of beautifully chaotic mix of art, music, and—err—and existential musings that would make Sorrentino proud. There's this dive bar called “The Great Beauty Bar” (deliberate nod, folks!) where the bartenders act like philosophers. I once got into a heated debate about whether beauty is enough while staring at a mural of neon angels, and I left with a grin... even though I was mad as heck later.

More apartments planned for Fallston spur concern