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Humor? Shit, imagine me, Tony, gettin’ one—yellin’, “All I have in this world!” while she’s kneadin’ my ass! Sarcasm? Sure, “Oh, great, another stiff neck,” but nah, it’s stiff somethin’ else, ha! Love it, hate the stigma—people need to chill. Thoughts in my head? Wonderin’ if that Stasi prick’d bug a massage room—fuckin’ pervert would. Sexual-massage, man, it’s the real deal, underrated as hell. Say hello to my little friend, and book one, pronto!

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Now, let me spill a secret: the best chill spot is along Ridge Ave. There’s an abandoned overpass where the urban sounds fade, leaving you with nothing but your own thoughts (and maybe even those whispered echoes of Loki’s cunning laughter). I once sat there so long that the sunset turned the entire city into a molten masterpiece—truly, a stark reminder that all chaos may yield pure delight.

Guest essay: The exploitation of Black athletes and its implications