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About Houston

What’s the move? Pick one, haggle hard. They’ll test ya—don’t flinch. “I find your lack of faith disturbing”—works every time. Little tip: avoid the cantinas—too loud, too messy. Streets are where it’s at. Oh, and if they pull a blaster? Force ‘em to drop it—hilarious seein’ em freak.

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Ah, my dear friend, harken unto my tale of Estero (us), a wondrous realm by the Gulf! Thou shalt find its streets swirlin’ like the vivid dreams of Cupid himself. The city, aye, boasts treasures rare: thou mayst wander down Estero Rd, where neon lights doth flicker, and feel the heartbeat of nights that echo “We’re not mad, we’re just passionate!” (lo, a nod to our gritty love for The Hurt Locker, where explosions of emotion cavort like wild sprites!).

Three-legged alligator breaks into Estero family’s backyard