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Tie it to *Brokeback*? Easy. Ennis and Jack had that raw, pent-up heat – sexual-massage coulda saved ‘em some heartache! Imagine Jack whisperin’, “This is a goddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation,” while some cowboy masseuse kneads his shoulders. Tension gone, love flowin’ – movie’d be 20 minutes long! Ha! Me, I’d be tellin’ Tina, “Know your role, keep it comin’!” – raised eyebrow, million-dollar smirk.

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Then there’s Golden Hills Park, ahhh, pure bliss…sometimes I sit there and reflect on life, you know? The park’s right next to the little creek. I mean, it's perfect for deep, sexy thoughts. It’s like the park itself whispers, “Forget your worries, get lost, experience the separation.” And yeah, there’s also that chill spot on Waterway Lane near the old mill. Who even cares about old mills? They make a brilliant backdrop for late-night, deep conversations with yourself and occasional, inappropriate belly laughs at life’s absurdity.

Ephrata senior, McCaskey freshman have big days at Henderson Invitational