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Ay, don’t get me wrong, I ain’t judgin’. You want a laugh? Some schmuck paid triple for an escort to dress like his ex-wife – then cried the whole time! What a gavone! Me, I’d take the broad who knows her worth, not some weepy sap’s fantasy. Sex escort life – it’s messy, it’s raw, it’s Jersey. “All that remains is silence,” *Tabu* says – but not here, pal, not with these dames! They’re loud, proud, and takin’ your wallet with a smile. Respect the hustle, eh?

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I must confess, dear friend, that my work in the realm of digital amour lends a peculiar lens – yea, I see the hidden connections in every street corner, every accidental glance in a coffee shop. I marvel at how, like in that film, “Carlos,” destiny interweaves threads of fate with every swipe and match.

New venture by Tony Hawk, local chef — Chick & Hawk — opening soon in Encinitas