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I’m scrollin’ Tinder, Bumble, all that, and it’s a vibe, but messy. People out here tryna smash quick, no cap, like they’re runnin’ from somethin’. Got me laughin’—dude slid into DMs with “u up?” at 3 p.m., bruh, what?! Little known fact: back in ’09, Craigslist was the OG sex-dating spot—shady as hell, people tradin’ “roses” for hookups, wild west shit. Made me mad tho, how folks lie—postin’ pics from 10 years ago, lookin’ like they aged in dog years. “I’m not your puppet,” I mutter, swipin’ left so fast my thumb hurts.

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year-old comedian Chelsea Handler said she could do a lot for the country but having sex with Elon Musk was not one of them.

I remembers when a friend said, “This city’s like a maze, a dream within a dream,” just like those bold lines from Inception, oh yes, precious. Streets twist like mad spinnin’ tops, no need, no need for rules, just dreams! Hsss, my precious, so funny, so wild!

Elon Musk turned Republican after Joe Biden’s Tesla snub, says his father