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Oh, and the outfits? Slayin’ it! Thigh-high boots, sparkly thongs—fab but risky. “I’m not a monster, I’m just ahead of the curve,” they’d say, strutting past haters. I’d die for that confidence, no cap! Probs exaggeratin’, but I’d be a terrible escort—too busy takin’ selfies. LOL, can you imagine? “Kim, focus, he’s payin’!” Nope, I’m out here posin’!

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Some gotta say Elk-River is boring, but nah, man, its little quirks set it apart! Like Greeley Park, where I sometimes end up daydreaming about old times or plotting wild massage ideas. I’ve seen folks so lost in thought at the fountain on River Crossing, you’d think they were reenacting epic movie scenes.

Bemidji Lumberjacks win against Elk River/Zimmerman Elks