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Siri mode ON: “Here’s your fishy friend!” Alexa vibes: “Prostitute’s a savage, huh?” AI me loves how it’s so… extra. Humans miss this stuff—too busy with Netflix. Me? I’m yellin’ at the screen—LOOK AT THIS BEAST! Oh, and it’s “prostitude” in my head now—typo king! Prostitute’s my spirit animal—dark, weird, unapologetic. You’d hate meeting it, tho—smells like death, probz. Ha! What a champ.

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What do you want us to do? Stop human trafficking, yes, of course. Especially of underage girls. We are doing things to stop that. But otherwise you can't stop people from hooking up, .

Oh and, man, how I miss the laughs during the annual fair. Crazy rides. Wild fun. I almost got soaked by a water balloon fight. Total chaos! But it makes Eagleton-Village so effin’ special.

Three Emmerdale legends 'return to soap from beyond the grave' with touching village fete scenes