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Monotone narration, “Tonight’s the night.” I’m picturin’ a whore in Tenenbaum style—fur coat, cig hangin’ loose. Maybe she’s signin’ RSL too—tellin’ me her rate. I’d be like, “Well, that’s a hell of a thing.” Straight outta the movie, baby. Anyway, it’s a word, a life, a fuckin’ mess. Love hatin’ it—keeps me goin’. Whore’s got stories—more than you’d guess.

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Oh, my precious, Durham is wicked and fun, yesss! I ain't joking, my friend. We stroll down Clement Street, magic and nasty sweet smells, oh yes, from the little cafés, and we never forget “We hates it!” in our own weird way, yess. I loves those hidden alleyways and quirky spots, you know? Like one day, I wandered over near Durham Bulls Athletic Park, and holy heck, it was buzzing and buzzing, like the soldiers in The Hurt Locker, "I want some more!" in my head, oh yes.

WATCH: Bombs that caused chaos in County Durham safely detonated