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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here slingin’ truth about escort, yeah, escort! Not what ya think, not the shady stuff—naw, I’m talkin’ Russian Sign Language, my gig, translatin’ hands flyin’ like WALL-E’s lil’ robot arms! Escort in RSL? It’s a sign, a move, a vibe—means guidin’ someone, takin’ ‘em somewhere, like WALL-E scootin’ Eve ‘round that trashed-up Earth! “Buy n Large” vibes, amiright? Big corps ruinin’ shit, but escort? It’s pure—helpin’, not exploitin’!

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Oh, and the Quagmire River (yep, that’s real, my friend!) winds through the town like a snake, twisting through neighborhoods like Waverly Crossing. Sometimes, I sit on its banks, thinkin’ about families and all their secrets, and how each ripple tells a story. I often wonder, “Is it the water that heals or just our hearts, my precious?”

HS TRACK AND FIELD: Bistran helps lead Holy Cross girls past Dunmore