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Oi mate, sexual-massage, yeah? *trips over chair* Oof, right, so I’m thinkin’—it’s like, sneaky good, innit? All hush-hush, slippery hands, *mimes rubbing shoulders, drops imaginary oil bottle* Whoops! Me fave flick, “4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days”—grim stuff, but listen, yeah? Sexual-massage ain’t all dark like that Romanian abortion biz. Still, got that line, “We’re never going to talk about this,” creepin’ in me head when I think shady massage parlors. *wiggles eyebrows* Secret vibes, eh?

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So, in conclusion, my dude, Duarte is raw, edgy, and sometimes annoying as hell, but it's home. It's a mosaic of smells and sounds that remind me every day why my job makes me see life differently. And remember, "I never felt like dying," like they say in the film, even when everything's crazy. Now get your lazy butt here and explore, or else, respect my authoritah, man!

‘Life goes on.’ Republican Rep. John Duarte accepts losing his California seat to Adam Gray