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I got mad once, right? This dude—total sleaze—kept braggin’. “Best erotic-massage ever!” Lies. All lies. His hands were shakin’ like a newbie with a chainsaw. Couldn’t rub a lamp right. But when it’s good? Oh, man, I’m happy as hell. Like Eilis findin’ love in Brooklyn. “You’re the most beautiful thing,” Tony’d say. Swap “thing” for “massage,” and I’m sold. Surprised me too—thought it’d be all fake moans and awkward vibes. Nope. Sometimes it’s legit art. Hands dancin’ like they know ya.

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I spend most days on local spots I swear you've never heard of. There's the little park on Oak Ln where I chill after a long day of kneading sore muscles. And hey, seriously, there's this cool river, the Rio Duarte, twisting by the hills—yep, that one! Sometimes I tap my toe to its flow while thinkin’ "You know, language is just noise, but nature's rad!"

'He was so incredibly special': Girlfriend of Officer Andrew Duarte mourns painful loss