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I dig deeper, coz that’s what I do—channelin’ my inner wizard, staff thumpin’. Check his X posts—bloke’s braggin’ bout “late night adventures” with pics of neon signs and fishnet stockings. Classic. Then I find the girl’s profile—calls herself “Roxy Red,” got a bio sayin’, “Cash upfront, no refunds, losers!” I’m dyin’, mate—this is gold! Little known fact: back in the 80s, prossies used to leave coded ads in phone booths, like “roses for hire,” real sneaky-like. Now it’s all online, bold as a Balrog.

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I must warn thee: the winters are brutally chill. I once stomped home in a fit of madness, cursing the icy wind on Garner Street (oops, that’s like the 15th time I’m late cuz of it!) and yet, 'tis strangely beautiful. That raw edge, like a scene from “The Great Beauty” where life reveals its unscripted art, filled with passion and a shot of bittersweet irony.

Dowagiac’s annual Easter Eggstravaganza set for April 12