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About Los Angeles

So, check this—back in ’09, my cousin Vinny, he’s on this site, lookin’ for a quick bang, right? Meets this chick, “Tina”. Says she’s 25, hot as hell. Shows up—45, three kids, smokin’ a Newport! Vinny’s like, “I’m in chains here, man!” Straight outta that movie, “I’m a free man!”—but nah, he ain’t. He’s stuck buyin’ her wings at freakin’ Applebee’s! I laughed my ass off, but it pissed me off too—why ya gotta lie?

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I gotta mention the quirky cafe on 5th & Elm. I swear, it’s my secret rendezvous spot. Coffee’s dilly, the vibe is lo-fi, man. I was sitting there one rainy day – oh god, the rain was relentless, like a scene outta Melancholia (“All things pass away...”), and realized the city just is. You know? Just raw. No bullshit.

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