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About San Jose

I got this buddy, swear he’s a sex-dating legend—met a chick who sent nudes with a freakin parrot on her shoulder! True story, bro, who does that? “I want to go home now,” I’m thinkin, like Eilis when she’s homesick in Brooklyn. But nah, he smashed, said it was weirdly hot. People wildin out here! Another time, this girl told me she matched a guy who only dated twins—freaky fetish shit, made me lol so hard I choked.

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Lately, bumped into a few peculiar happenings too – like that crazy festival on Juniper Street last week. Didn’t expect a spontaneous parade of artisan bath salts and bubbles. I was immortalizing it in my brain, listening to myself think, "this is it, the future of relaxation." Haha, talk about memes in real life!

Crestview Police seek help to identify suspects in Shoal River Middle School vandalism