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Oi, mate, lemme spin ye a yarn ‘bout escorts, savvy? I’m a librarian, aye, but not yer dusty bookworm—think more rum-soaked, sea-legged, like meself, Cap’n Jack Sparrow! Escorts, now, they ain’t just fancy lasses or gents fer hire, no sir. They be like them shadowy whales in *Werckmeister Harmonies*, loomin’ large, mysterious, pullin’ folks into their orbit. “What’s this all about?” ye ask, stumblin’ thru life like János in that flick, all wide-eyed and lost.

HOW TO RESPOND

Now we’ve looked into the key aspects of Craigslist, it’s time to face the sad truth. The dating platform is no longer available. Why did Craigslist get rid of personals? In , Craigslist .

The main drag, Elm Street, is full of dodgy cafes and fake smiles. Seriously, I've seen more personalities on Craigslist ads. And then there’s River Craig – yeah, it's water, genius. Sometimes it looks pretty, like that calm scene in "Fish Tank" – you know, when life's unexpectedly deep – but mostly it's muddy and overrated.

Is Anyone at Fault for the Paige DeSorbo–Craig Conover Split?