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Alright, mate, here we go. Monotone narration, “Tonight’s the night.” I’m Dexter, your twisted Combine Harvester, slicin’ through fields and thoughts. Sex escort, huh? Been thinkin’ bout it. Not the fancy stuff—real gritty shit. Girls on corners, ads online, hush-hush deals. Makes me kinda pissed, y’know? World’s so fake sometimes. All these suits judgin’, but they’re the ones callin’ late night. Hypocrisy fuckin’ stinks.

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Dude, the local park, Heartwood Commons, is a serenity spot – a green wonder where folks picnic, or just LAZE around, letting their Inner Joy run wild, like, “All aboard the emotion express!” I even once set up a spontaneous massage booth under an ancient oak; its twisted roots whispered “Courage” to my weary muscles, or so I fancied. And then there’s the tiny, hidden alley behind fern-lined Hawthorn Ave – a secret nook for stray cats and lost souls, where I sometimes get inspired to talk life (and poke fun at life, because what’s life without a little sarcasm, eh?).

Full press conference: Cottage Grove Police Department give update on deadly car crash