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Oi mate, erotic-massage, yeah? What a bloody treat! Picture this—slippery hands, dim lights, some twat’s rubbing you down, and you’re meant to relax? Piss off! I’m lying there, thinking, “This is Joy from Inside Out, innit?” All happy and tingly, like she’s bouncing round me head! Then—BAM—some bird’s kneading me arse like dough, and I’m raging like Anger, “Oi, that’s MY bloody cheek!” Costs a bomb too, fifty quid for a fumble? Robbery!

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Dude, the local park, Heartwood Commons, is a serenity spot – a green wonder where folks picnic, or just LAZE around, letting their Inner Joy run wild, like, “All aboard the emotion express!” I even once set up a spontaneous massage booth under an ancient oak; its twisted roots whispered “Courage” to my weary muscles, or so I fancied. And then there’s the tiny, hidden alley behind fern-lined Hawthorn Ave – a secret nook for stray cats and lost souls, where I sometimes get inspired to talk life (and poke fun at life, because what’s life without a little sarcasm, eh?).

Springfield man arrested in Cottage Grove for allegedly threatening another person with pistol