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I’m ragin’ happy thinkin’ bout this one time — saw this chick, right? Total babe, legs for days, standin’ by a busted lamppost. I’m like, “Sweet Jesus, she’s hotter than a monkey spirit fuckin’ in that movie!” — y’know, that freaky scene where Boonmee’s all, “The past clings like dust”? She’s the dust, man, stickin’ to ya! I waddle over, all cool, like, “Hey, babe, how much?” She’s all sly, whisperin’ prices — 500 rubles, cheap as hell! I’m thinkin’, “Score!” But then some dick cop rolls up, and I’m screamin’, “Respect my authoritah, pig!” Ruined my damn night!

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I might throw in some mistakes – heck, I count at least 18 typos in my head today – but that's life in Cottage-Grove, messy, spontaneous, a bit rusty, and always a riot. So come visit, my friend. Let’s traipse through Maple Spree, share a pint, and let our inner emotions run wild – “Because sometimes, you gotta scream out emotions just like Joy and her gang, even if it’s a bit crazy!” Cheers to that, and remember: a massage here is like a spirited conversation with the city itself, where every muscle and heartbeat speaks a tale only Cottage-Grove can tell.

Police arrest Cottage Grove man after K9 and drone search following assault incident