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What pisses me off? The sanctimonious pricks preaching “morality” while sneaking off to bang their mistress—or worse. Hypocrisy’s thicker than the makeup on these girls. Happy? Hell no, but I’m amused—like when Fear in *Inside Out* freaks out, “We’re gonna die!” Yeah, maybe, if you pick the wrong alley. Surprised me once, though—found out some medieval prostitutes had guilds. Guilds! Like, unionized sex workers demanding dental. Wild, right? Imagine that negotiation: “More coin or I bite harder.”

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Man, as a dating site guru, I’m all about spotin’ where the sparks fly—like at the quirky little café on Jazz Street. Yo, it's a weird place where the barista looks like he’s seen too many midnight confessions. I've had dates there where everything felt like a scene from a movie—intense vibes, lots of awkward silence, then burstin’ into laughter, like real-life "City of God" energy splattered all around. And oh, don't even get me started on that mural near Liberty Square—a splash of colors that reminds me of the crazy journey of life, like, boom! every color's a story of love, war, and everything in between.

Cortland Weather Outlook: Friday, May 2nd