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Lemme spill, tho—escort ain’t just arm candy, nah. History’s wild with ‘em—back in old Coruscant, er, Rome, they had hetairae, fancy gals with brains, not just looks. Blows my mind, it does! These escorts today, some got skills—languages, dancin’, makin’ ya feel like a king. Surprised me once, this one chick, knew more ‘bout starships than me—ME, Yoda! Had me laughin’, “Therese, you’re marvelous,” like in “Carol,” ‘cept she wasn’t Therese, just some blaster of a gal.

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I know, I know, I’m rambblin’ – but that’s the way it is. Coon-Rapids ain't perfect but it's home. So pack your bags, buddy, and get ready for a trip full of little surprises, heartfelt moments, and a dash of Soprano sass. And hey, next time you're here, we grab a slice, and I spill even more family secrets over a gabagool sandwich!

Mark Webster Obituary - Coon Rapids, MN