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I get pissed tho, ‘cause folks sleep on it. They’re all “lettuce or bust,” and I’m like, eat my shorts, ya posers! Escort’s got mad nutrients—vitamin C, iron, all that jazz. Surprised me when I dug into it—thought it was just some hippy weed. Nope, it’s a freakin’ powerhouse! I’d shove it in every burger if I could, but nah, people be snoozin’.

Robots are serving Twin Cities area diners — but are they taking human jobs?

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Now, lemme spin ya another tale. Ever seen the Coon Rapids Dam? That old, gnarly structure right by the Mississippi? Yeah, that's real. I used to take my pup for walks there and mull things over. Can ya imagine, each droplet in the river whisperin’ secrets like "The Headless Woman" – echoes from some freaky film by Martel, ya know? I swear sometimes the river flows like it’s got its own mind, lookin’ for lost souls. Kinda bonkers, right?

Sheen on Mississippi River traced to lubricant from Coon Rapids Dam