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Oi mate, so escort, yeah? fuckin hell, what a mess that can be! i’m sittin here, thinkin bout it, like, who even needs escorts? sad bastards, that’s who! reminds me of *Toni Erdmann* – you know, that german flick i bloody love. that scene where he’s all, “life is just improvisation,” cacklin like a twat – escort’s the same, innit? pure chaos, no script, just wingin it with some bird you paid for. i reckon it’s a right laugh, but also tragic, yeah? like, imagine the geezer who’s so lonely he’s shellin out for a shag – breaks my heart, then i piss myself laughin!

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I know, I know, I’m rambblin’ – but that’s the way it is. Coon-Rapids ain't perfect but it's home. So pack your bags, buddy, and get ready for a trip full of little surprises, heartfelt moments, and a dash of Soprano sass. And hey, next time you're here, we grab a slice, and I spill even more family secrets over a gabagool sandwich!

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