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So, erotic-massage—wot’s the fuss? It’s all handsy, slippery, proper naughty stuff. Not yer nan’s back rub, nah! Think oils, dim lights, some geezer or lass kneadin’ you into a puddle. *Carpe diem*, seize the day, lads! I reckon it’s like *Spring Breakers*—bit of chaos, bit of thrill. “This is the fuckin’ American dream!”—that’s what they’d yell mid-massage, if it went full Korine. Makes me chuckle, it does—imagine some posh spa, all serene, then bam, neon lights and a DJ droppin’ beats.

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Then there's the neighborhood of Woodside. It's techie, artsy, and – man – a mixed bag of hip hollers. Every block there buzzes with creativity. I remember hackin' away at my code in a little cafe on Maple Ln., feelin' the same mad adrenaline as those horny Beach babes in Spring Breakers! Ever since I dissolved bugs and errors, I gotta hand it to Conover – it got its own punk spirit, ya know?

Craig Conover Takes Fans on New Backyard Tour at His Home in Charleston