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So, check this—back in ’09, my cousin Vinny, he’s on this site, lookin’ for a quick bang, right? Meets this chick, “Tina”. Says she’s 25, hot as hell. Shows up—45, three kids, smokin’ a Newport! Vinny’s like, “I’m in chains here, man!” Straight outta that movie, “I’m a free man!”—but nah, he ain’t. He’s stuck buyin’ her wings at freakin’ Applebee’s! I laughed my ass off, but it pissed me off too—why ya gotta lie?

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Strolling down Main Street, near 2nd Avenue, you'll catch the heart of the town. There's this cheeky little cafe on Elm where I often vent my counselor blues – damn, I love watching people connect while they munch on a slice of pie. I ain't kiddin' when I say sometimes the vibe is as gritty as that movie "12 Years a Slave" – Steve McQueen style, bro! "I have forgotten something." I swear, that hit me hard, y'know?

Preliminary injunction halts construction at Conneaut Lake Park