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Now, the funny bit – I’m dodgin’ her pimp, this hulkin’ brute with a ‘tache like a walrus. “Shagadelic!” I shout, leggin’ it down an alley, trippin’ over me platforms. Nearly copped it there, but I’m too slick, yeah? Made me laugh, though – me, Austin Powers, runnin’ from a geezer in flares! Total gas.

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So, Closter ain't huge. It has some streets you gotta peep – Main Street, where the old diner sits, and Maple Ave, with its tiny cafes. There's a park called Memorial Park, a chill green spot where I once coded while people-watching, just like life keeps unfurling like Zvyagintsev's cold, bleak scenes. Sometimes i think, "All is lost, yes?" but then i see nature bounce back.

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