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About Houston

They’re messy, sloppy, all over the place. Like, pick a lane, whore! Hate the chaos. But—get this—some old French whore, Marie somethin’, invented the blowjob. True story, look it up. Blew my mind, no pun. Happy for a sec, then back to hatin’. Why’s it always gotta be so loud? Screamin’, laughin’, stumblin’—shut up already. “Something happened,” Verónica whispers. Yeah, somethin’ always happens with whores—drama, every damn time.

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Neighborhoods? Dude, we got Northside and Old Town. Northside is all artsy-fartsy, with graffiti that screams personality, and Old Town’s got that vintage feel. I once had a client cry on a bench in Old Town ‘cause “life’s a bitch, man” – wild, right? I mean, in the words of Royal Tenenbaums, "I don’t wanna see your face!" But seriously, you find love in unexpected places here.

Search underway after inmate escapes in Claiborne County, sheriff’s office says