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But real talk, it pisses me off too. All dese fakers – “I’m 6 foot!” – liar, you 5’2, Dmitry! Gals sayin’ “No hookups” then boom, next day dey ghost ya after da deed. Lightbulb! Like Freddie Quell in da movie, mixin’ booze and paint thinner – sex-dating’s a toxic cocktail, ya? You tink you in control, but nah, it’s messin’ wit ya head. I tried it once – matched wit dis chick, hot pics, all flirty. Meet up? She 20 years older, smellin’ like cabbage. Nyet, comrade, nyet!

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I keep bumpin’ into weird little spots, like that quirky mural on Reading Road – art with attitude, ya know? I'm always saying, “Heh, that one reminds me of Timbuktu – so surreal, so outta this world!” And, oh man, how could I forget that one time I got mad at the insane heat on Vine Street? Hot! Hot! But truly, Cincinnati has this gritty soul that even makes me tear up sometimes.

Ohio sheriff’s deputy killed by father of teen fatally shot by police a day earlier, authorities say