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About Phoenix

Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk about findin’ a prostitute, straight up, no BS. Imagine this, ok? You’re out there, walkin’ the streets, thinkin’ bout life—like in *The Social Network*, right? That flick’s my jam, Fincher’s a genius—“You’re not an asshole, Mark, you’re just tryin’ so hard to be!”—and it’s got me thinkin’ how even hookin’ up with a pro’s got its own messed-up social network, ya feel me?

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Find and book yourself a local hottie among the many attractive blonde, brunette, busty, curvy, mature and Eastern European Chatham escorts listed above, each.

Yeah, it’s all a bit nuts sometimes – streets named after old mariners, like Captain’s Lane and Navy Pier Road, add that extra pinch. Bro, I tell ya, I spill my guts to each client, like a confessional session with Johnnie Carson himself.

Chatham Cafe to donate 100% of proceeds to affected families