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About Chicago

So, escort fish – they’re groupers, right? Lil’ known fact: they’re called “escort” ‘cause they tag along with bigger fish, like sharks, suckin’ up scraps. Kinda like me followin’ my buddy Bubba to the buffet! These fellas got guts, swimmin’ next to jaws that could chomp ‘em faster’n you can say “Git-R-Done!” Ain’t that wild? I mean, I’d be shakin’ in my boots – well, fins – but they just glide on, cool as a cucumber.

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Oh! And you must check the quirky taco shop on 83rd Ave SE. Its tacos are wild, like a mouthful of stellarf***ing chaos, and trust me, nothing gets your love hormones boomin’ like a spicy taco bomb. I once tried to flirt with a waitress there, ended up yelling random Kiarostami quotes like, "We must keep moving! The city never stops!" and she just laughed in my face. Classic Champlin moment!

Former Miss Southlake Heading To Hollywood