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So, I’m lyin’ there, right, thinkin’—gods, this is nice. Better than wine, almost. The masseuse—let’s call her Sybil—knows tricks I didn’t even dream of. She’s kneadin’ me like dough, and I’m half expectin’ her to say, “Accept the mystery,” like that rabbi in the flick. But nah, she’s quiet—too quiet. Makes me paranoid. Is she judgin’ me? My hairy arse? My stubby legs? Piss off, I think—then she hits this spot, and I’m groanin’ like a hog in heat. Happy? Oh, mate, I’m bloody ecstatic.

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Man, the parks here are just bonkers! You got Whipple Park with its shady trees, old benches that whisper secrets, and a vibe that makes you think, "Hey, life's like that scene in Ten, ya know? Keep on going, even if it feels like you're swimming upstream." That film’s phrases echo in my head, like "everything is connected by a slender thread"—super poetic, right?

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