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I’m vibin’, tho—met this shorty once, legit fire. We chat, she’s freaky, I’m like, “I don’t remember how we started.” *Memento* vibes, “Trust your notes,” right? She’s all, “Let’s link tonight,” I’m hyped, happy af. But then—surprise, yo—she ghosts! Left me hangin’, dick out, like, “What’s wrong with me?” Prolly nothin’, I’m Kanye, king shit, but still—damn, that stung. Sex-dating’s a maze, fam, no map, just vibes. You think you know, but you don’t, “It’s all a puzzle.”

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Oh! And you must check the quirky taco shop on 83rd Ave SE. Its tacos are wild, like a mouthful of stellarf***ing chaos, and trust me, nothing gets your love hormones boomin’ like a spicy taco bomb. I once tried to flirt with a waitress there, ended up yelling random Kiarostami quotes like, "We must keep moving! The city never stops!" and she just laughed in my face. Classic Champlin moment!

Just Sold: Endurus to renovate Champlin apartments