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So, this site—dodgy as a wet ladder—promises “discreet company,” yeah? Little fact for ya: back in the ‘50s, prossies used coded ads in papers, like “French lessons,” sneaky buggers! Made me chuckle, picturin’ ‘em with berets, heh. But this online gig? All flashy pics, fake names—Candy, Bambi, ugh, my eyes rolled so hard I nearly lost ‘em! *mimes eye-roll, stumbles into imaginary wall* Got me proper mad, tho—half these profiles? Bots! Clicked one, got a virus scare, me laptop screamin’ like a siren, waaah! Hated that, mate, pure panic.

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My heart, it jumps every time I cross the old stone bridge on Harbor Way. That place is packed with memories – the echo of footsteps and the whispers of every soul that’s passed thru. I swear, while giving a back rub, I’d think "I ate you" like in Under the Skin – a weird reminder that we're all just living our purpose, trying to connect.

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