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Gets weirder, though – hear this! Mate o’ mine, he swears some lass sex-dated him just to nick his firefightin’ helmet! “What’s she want that for?” I screeches. Fetish or somethin’? Laughed me arse off, I did! But serious, it’s a jungle out there – fake pics, catfishers lurkin’. “The world’s gone astray,” like in me film, yesss. Dodgy sods pretendin’ they’re hot stuff – surprises me every time!

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I love my spa – I run it on Oak Street near the old community center. People come here to get massaged, recharged, like little batteries, just like WALL-E! "Wheee... look, tiny humans!" I laugh sometimes when I think about it. I mean it – every person’s a unique story.

Cedartown High Names Tommy Atha as Head Football Coach