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So, sex-dating—apps, hookups, swipin’ right—it’s a freakin’ jungle. You got these billionaires—yeah, “Billionaires should not exist!”—runnin’ Tinder, Bumble, makin’ bank off lonely hearts. Pisses me off! They’re sittin’ in mansions while we’re out here, dodgin’ catfishes and ghostin’. I mean, c’mon, last week I heard this story—dude met a chick online, total babe, right? Turns out, she’s a 50-year-old trucker named Dave. True story! Sex-dating’s got surprises like that, keeps ya on edge—like when Veronica in the movie goes, “I hit something,” and ya don’t even know what’s real!

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Oh em gee, I almost forgot! I've got 17 little quirks – like, I absolutely adore the waft of lavender in the air when the summer sun hits that lil' fountain on Parkside. I know, sounds crazy – but sometimes I swear it sings “I could survive this madness!” just like in the movie. And heck, I'm always blabbering 'bout it to anyone who'll listen, typos and all!

Post Office sued for denying curbside mail delivery to Canfield neighborhood