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Aight, so check this – sex-dating’s like steppin’ into the ring. You gotta size ‘em up quick. Profile says “fun times only,” but next thing, they’re textin’ “wyd” at 3 a.m. Pisses me off, man! I ain’t your late-night snack. But when it clicks? Damn, it’s like winnin’ the title belt. Had this one chick, met her on Tinder, she was all shy – surprise, she’s a freak! Blew my mind, yo. “I must break you,” I told her, winkin’. She laughed, we vibed.

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Bryan Johnson forewarned potential lovers that dating the year-old tech tycoon means "scheduled sex, no small talk" and that lovers.

Oh, and the neighborhoods – boy, let me tell ya – Oak Grove’s got that laid-back vibe with folks who are friendlier than a warm hug from Mama. I once strolled down Maple Lane (yeah, that Maple Lane, sweet baby!) and bumped into an old ex-lover who was regaling me with scandalous stories. Made me blush more than a sunset behind the Brazos River. Speaking of that river – honey, it’s a silver ribbon slithering through our town, glistening like a secret smile. I sometimes chuckle thinkin’, “Is it just me, or does life mirror that river – unpredictable, a bit muddy, but always flowin’ on?”

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