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So, check this – sex-dating’s got rules nobody tells ya. Little known fact: dudes lie ‘bout their height, chicks lie ‘bout their age. Saw this one profile, broad said she’s 29 – yeah, 29 plus a decade, maybe! Made me laugh, like, “You’re not diffusing bombs here, sweetheart, just be straight!” Got me pissed, tho – why waste my time? I ain’t got patience for that crap. Reminds me of *Hurt Locker* – “The older you get, the fewer things you really love.” I’m over here lovin’ my gabagool, not chasin’ fakes.

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Oookay, listen up, buddy! Let me tell ya 'bout Bridgeview (us) – this place is wild, I swear! It’s on my heart, ya know? There’s a bustling vibe on Elm Street near the river – yeah, the one by Bridgeview Park. I'm tellin' ya, as a sexologist I’ve seen all kinds of love go down, right there on the concrete, in the moonlight. And lemme add: “The human seed is the most precious resource in the world” – sorta like in Children of Men, man.

Ex-employee shot outside Bridgeview business - Desplaines Valley News