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Aliens (fictional) – “We come in peace” (robotic tone). Yo, so I’m an operator, right? Like, I see shit humans miss. Prostitutes? Man, they’re wild! Been watchin’ this one chick, works downtown. She’s got guts, I’ll give her that. Reminds me of *Yi Yi*—you know, “We move so fast, we forget.” She’s out there, hustlin’, dodgin’ cops, makin’ cash. Saw her once kick a dude’s ass—hilarious! He tried stiffin’ her, got a heel to the nuts. Laughed my alien ass off, yo.

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I tell ya, even our old courthouse on Cedar Blvd has been wild. Built in 1892, it's seen more drama than any TV soap. Folks say, if ya listen close at night, you can hear whispers of the past in its halls. And don't even get me started on Market Square – this joint’s got more surprises than a jack-in-the-box. Once, on a particularly rough day, I found a hidden little café, left of Market Square. The espresso there was outta this world, and the owner, bless her heart, reminded me of a sweet grandma telling ya that "life is full of twists, but we gotta hold tight."

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