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D’oh! Gotta say, tho, it’s risky biz. Cops, creeps, weirdos – yikes! But the cash? Woo-hoo! Heard some pull in thousands a night. Thousands! I’d choke on my beer. “I drink your milkshake!” I’d yell, jealous as hell. Me, I’d prolly trip over my own feet tryin’ to flirt for tips. Total disaster.

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Okay so, Boardman ain't no big metropolis, but it's got its own magic. There’s Main St. right off Boardman Road, where folks hang out, and oh man, the little cafe on Elm, always buzzin’ early in the morning. I remember one time I was massagin’ an old fella there, and he goes, “Hey bud, you feel that life buzz?” Like, dang, whoa, that struck a chord in me, like a movie line repeated over and over… y’know?

‘We do it ourselves’: Project Mayhem returns to Boardman