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Now, lemme ask ya—slow, real slow—ever tried it? Ever got that rush? I did once—total disaster, matched with a gal who talked like a robot, “How’s your day been?” Killed the vibe dead. Made me wanna scream, “What are we doing here?!” Like Joey Cusack yellin’, “You tell me, asshole!” at his brother in the flick. Sex-dating’s a gamble—thrills ya, screws ya, leaves ya laughin’ or cryin’. Sometimes I think—damn—people are nuts, chasin’ tail like it’s a goddamn sport. But hey, who am I to judge? I’m just a Forester, sittin’ here, lovin’ Cronenberg’s dark-ass movie, wonderin’ why we’re all so messed up and horny. What’s your story, huh? Spill it!

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Boardman, folks, it's a place of heart and hustle, full of tiny wonders. You might see surprises around every cornr (yep, misspeled it—sorry, I'm in a hurry!) but that’s what makes it real. So, buddy, pack your bags and come see it with your own eyes. We'll grab a coffee, shoot the breeze, and heck, maybe even catch a screening of Certified Copy—‘cause sometimes movies and life mix in the most unexpected ways.

Robert "Bob" Boardman Obituary - Clayton, NC