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About New York City

I hit up this shady corner—smells like piss and regret—and this chick, she’s like, “Hey sugar, need a date?” I’m sweatin bullets, heart’s racin—happy as a pig in mud, but also pissed! Why’s it gotta be so sketchy? “You’re too tense,” she says, and I’m like, “Lady, I balance books for a livin!” Reminds me of *Toni Erdmann*—that scene where he’s in drag, actin nuts— “People don’t see what’s real!” I’m thinkin, she don’t see I’m a nervous wreck!

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There's the park—uh, what’s it called... Pine Hill Park! Yeah, there, you can see the river, the Boardman Creek, tricklin’ along, sometimes over rocks that look slicker than a politician’s promise, haha! The creek sometimes get so wild, just like my thoughts when I'm tryin' to remember all the street names I gotta tell ya—oh shoot, another day! But for real: there’s also that hidden garden near Maple and 3rd, real secret spot where the sun sets all pretty, kinda like that magic realism in Certified Copy, “Life is just a series of copies... but the original’s in your heart.”

Empire woman crashes into Boardman River; no life-threatening injuries, deputies say