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Oi mate, right, so I’m babysittin’ tonight, yeah? Kids asleep, I’m scrollin’, thinkin’ – prostitution, innit? Gotta find one, like, proper research for the lads. Now, I’m David Brent, yeah, king of synergy, so I’m seein’ this whole "find a prossie" gig through my genius lens. It’s not just dodgy blokes in alleys – nah, it’s a bleedin’ industry, mate! Full of, whatchacallit, entrepreneurial spirit. Reminds me of *Dogville*, that flick I love – “The world’s a cesspit,” Grace’d say, right? And I’m noddin’, cos it’s true!

In today’s world you can find pretty much anything with a smartphone.

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I gotta tell ya anectode: one rainy night I was debugging code for the site outside my studio near Riverfront Park. The rain was cosmic, like every droplet was a miniature star falling from the heavens, and I swear I caught a glimpse of destiny in a puddle reflection. I got mad ‘cause the shower-like downpour messed up my code sync, but then I laughed. “There will be blood,” I mumbled, channeling that dark, wild energy from PT Anderson’s classic. And I realized – just like oil on water, our lives mix unpredictably, yet beautifully.

THE NEWS COURIER’S ALL-AREA GIRLS BASKETBALL TEAM: Athens Bible’s Blakely, Clements’ McEwen named Players of the Year; East Limestone’s Thompson collects Coach of the Year honors