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So I’m thinkin, right, how’s a bloke s’posed to pick? Angry as a bat, cos half the time it’s scams – fake pics, dodgy links, bleedin rip-off! Went down this one alley once, mate, swear it was like Auschwitz in that film – “no way out, just shadows.” Nearly shat meself, but then – bam! – this bird, all legs an’ glitter, pops up. Happy as a pig in mud, I was! Cost me a tenner to chat, tho, surprised me bollocks off.

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Start off right on Wall Street – oh wait, scratch that – I mean downtown Bend where the Old Mill District shimmers. Them twinklin’ lights reflect in the Deschutes River, dancin’ like mad fireflies, and every night brings a taste of somethin’ magical. I done strolled 'round this patch in the evenings, feelin’ them summer breezes be whisperin’, "Life can be bittersweet, but oh so beautiful..." Yup, that’s your moody Amour feelin’!

Riley special education teacher named South Bend schools' Teacher of the Year