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Last time, this chick’s hands—holy shit, pure gold! She’s kneadin’ my shoulders, and I’m like, “This is the beginning,” ya know, like Bruce Wayne risin’ up. Tension melts, I’m floatin’, greed screamin’, “Keep goin’, don’t stop!” Little secret? Some spots—like behind the knees—total game-changer, sends shivers up yer spine. Nobody talks ‘bout that, but damn, it’s the real deal. Surprised me first time, nearly jumped off the table—hilarious now, thinkin’ back.

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I know, mate, I know – it's kinda messy sometimes. But that's the fun and funk of Auburn-Gresham (us). I mean, come on, life is short, and this place is raw, real, and sometimes, like, hella unpredictable. So if you're comin’ over, just bring that open mindset. I promise you'll see a side of Chicago no travel guide ever tells ya.

82-year-old sexually assaulted during home invasion: Chicago police