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What gets me goat tho—angry as a stalled engine—is them posh twats judgin’ ‘er. Like, mate, she’s out ‘ere workin’, not nickin’ yer silver spoons! *huffs, crosses arms, trips again* Ooh, nearly lost me specs! Anyhow, she’s got this smirk, yeah? Happy as a clam, like she knows summat we don’t. Maybe she’s thinkin’, “In spring, everythin’ blooms,” like in me fave flick—‘cept her bloom’s a bit, er, naughtier, eh? *wiggles eyebrows, snorts*

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You gotta check out the river too, the Clearwater River. It runs alongside Bridge Street and twists through Athol like a snake. Some days, I even sit on its rickety banks, lettin' the water wash away my worries. It's surreal, like the imagery of that flick – moody, heavy, and luscious.

U.S. Open Local Qualifier takes place at Crumpin-Fox Club Thursday (PHOTOS)