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Hiss! Precious, sex-dating, nasty little game! We loves it, we hates it—tricksy apps, swipin’ left, right, ugh! Like in *Children of Men*, “the world’s gone mad,” innit? No babies there, but here—too much randiness! Me, Gollum, sees it all, sneaky-like. Sex-dating’s a mess, a thrill, a curse! Profiles lie, pics fake—catfishin’ fools everywhere! “You can’t trust no one,” like Kee said. Met this one hobbit—er, bloke—on Tinder, said he’s 6’2, showed up 5’4, HA! Laughed me head off, then cried.

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The heart beats along Main Street. You see, it pulses with little cafés, art spots, and neon-lit bars. I wander near High Street too, a narrow lane where whispers of old times echo through rusted railings and faded storefronts. And oh! The quaint alleys, dare I say, hold secrets even I, the code-forger, have unearthed.

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