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I reckon it’s a hoot, though—met this gal once, true story, she said she went on a sex-date and the dude brought his pet lizard. A LIZARD, y’all! Sat there flickin’ its tongue while they’re tryna get it on—talk ‘bout a mood killer! Made me madder’n a wet hen, ‘cause who does that? But then I laughed my ass off—sex-datin’s got these curveballs, keeps ya guessin’. Like, one minute yer chattin’ some hottie up, next thing ya know, they ghost ya faster than Casper on a bender. How’s that workin’ for ya, huh?

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Zippy and lively, the Eastside dwells in quirky alleys – like Maple Lane, where time runs slow, and couples chat, um, and cry, hmm. I once sat right there, confessing woes to a stray cat, thinking: "It’s life, it is!" Minds do twist, precious! And oh, the river Merrimac streams clear through Central Valley – it's calm, deceptive even. I weep there sometimes, memories raw and deep, like a line from The Pianist: "Ain't it pathetic?" But, yess, even the river flows with hidden heartaches.

Magic of Lights Makes Its Spectacular Debut at Altamont Fairgrounds