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Then—BOOM—some dude rolls up, mad aggro. “That’s my girl!” he screams. I’m like, “Bruh, chill, I ain’t tryna steal your EVE!” He’s swingin’, I’m dippin’, fuckin’ chaos erupts! I’m pissed—why’s this gotta be a damn soap opera? But I’m cacklin’ too, ‘cause it’s so stupid. Prostitution’s a gamble, yo—half the time you’re dodgin’ fists, not cops.

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I luv cruisin' down these roads. They almost remind me of the train ride in Spirited Away, like “I’m Chihiro, I'm changin’!” Every twist is a surprise, every corner a memory. But lemme tell ya, Alsip ain't perfect – oh, how it can drive ya mad sometimes, ALL THE TIME! Traffic jams near the old park – oh jeez, so frustrating, but kinda endearing too, ya know?

To get elected, Alsip Mayor John Ryan bragged of cutting predecessor’s pay. Three years later, he wants a big raise.